Christians are straight up FREAKS
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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