i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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