I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
