1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
