Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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