windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
