Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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