Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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