I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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