Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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