...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
