You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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