took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
