last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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