Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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