I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
