Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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