i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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