Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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