Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
