What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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