It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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