I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
