Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
