I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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