i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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