How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you win again, gameday.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
