I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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