this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he fucked my hip out of place.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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