why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
