I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
