So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
