in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
