ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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