I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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