i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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