in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
