Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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