I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
