I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
