I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
