I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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