My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
