I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Randomize