I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I bet he comes in French.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
