I must be too annoying 4 u.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
