I skipped work to stalk him.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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