I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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