What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
