Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
