i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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