A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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