It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
