I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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