and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
