I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
