How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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