before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
