Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
