I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
