I accidentally had phone sex last night
This girl is more easily done than said...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize