It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
